The Weekend: You don't have to write about free pizza
After too much cheese, Gabi reflects on the places journalists go for stories.
Kia ora and welcome to a special edition of The Weekend with Gabi Lardies
Two weeks ago, an invite landed in my inbox. Pizza Hut was turning 50, and they wanted me, a not-food-writer with a sensitive stomach, at the buffet celebrations. Presumptuously, I looked up from my screen and asked the tippy-tappers around me, “are we all going to the Pizza Hut buffet?” No-one else had received the invite. Jealousy spread like nits through the office. My claim to unlimited pizza was taken to a dark room questioned under a spotlight, most vigorously by myself, who is currently on an unhinged and not recommended journey to know if my body is capable of having abs.
Invites to random events are no stranger to the journalist inbox. Just two weeks ago a Spinoff contingent made up about 90% of the attendees at a Snapchat breakfast. We were absolutely filled with glee to be greeted with activities like spin the wheel and get free socks, choose your own patches for a tote bag, and play with Snapchat filters on a screen approximately a thousand times the size of a phone. There, we found out that nearly 95% of young New Zealanders are using the app we’d all deleted from our phone years ago.
Sometimes, the invites are self-inflicted and entirely without glee. In 2017 Madeleine Chapman sent herself off to attend a Max Key DJ set as a paying VIP guest. She lived to tell the tale, but also to deeply regret it. More recently, I sat through a freezing radical leftist meeting with only two miniature quiches to keep me going through hours of talking. Needless to say, no green eyed parasites bit my colleagues’ heads that week.
Being a journalist can be like having a backstage pass. When I wrote about our plasma supply, I got a two hour tour through the labs (so many labs), freezers and fridges of the blood centre. When I wrote about armyworms, I was let into Plant & Foods “bug shop” where they rear colonies of bugs for decades. I usually turn up with a tiny red 3B1 notebook in one pocket, a dictaphone in the other, and a camera slung around my neck in the hopes of capturing what many people will never see first-hand.
But not every visit or event turns into a story. On Wednesday at 6:30pm, I grabbed a can of low-carb Tiger on my way into the Pizza Hut buffet. The DJ lined up a playlist where the Spice Girls were followed by Nirvana. Custom leadlight lampshades on the tables spelled out Pizza Hut, just in case we’d forgotten where we were. The napkins, placemats and coasters blinked out the same two words. The pizzas were out, oiling up underneath heat lamps, but no one was serving themselves. Instead the phones were up, capturing the moment.
For the price of a few pizzas, Pizza Hut had every food influencer in town making them content, many of which feature one certain Spinoff writer demolishing slice after slice of classic cheese pizza in the background. The Herald, Stuff and 1News had already run stories about the buffet. Washing the beige mass down with chilled red wine, I decided not to write about a multinational pizza restaurant chain. I could just eat their pizza.
This week on Behind the Story
Books editor Claire Mabey is deeply embedded in the publishing sector in Aotearoa, so she clearly remembers the shock when Narrative Muse was awarded $500,000 of arts funding to boost sales of New Zealand books in 2021. In a closely connected sector, no one had heard of the tech start-up, or any of the people behind it before. For months Claire has been canvasing the industry to see what impact that half-a-million dollars has had, if any. We started the week with her investigation, The half-a-million-dollar decision that still haunts the book industry.
Claire joined me on Behind the Story (now with video!) to discuss why that huge sum was awarded to Narrative Muse in the first place and why it caused such a stir.
Listen here, on Spotify, wherever you get your podcasts or watch on YouTube.
Mataaho Collective on taking up space and bringing their mahi to the world
“We don’t have dealers or producers or managers – it’s just us four. Having gone through 12 years of working together, we’ve learned so much.”After a year at Te Papa, Mataaho Collective’s large-scale installation Takapau went to the Venice Biennale – and promptly scooped the global prize. The wāhine Māori artists tell us how it felt to win the Golden Lion, and what continues to unite them as a collective, in the latest edition of Art Work. Read it here (sponsored).
The deep allure of the RMS Niagara, one of New Zealand’s most notorious shipwrecks
“Three forty-five am on June 19th, 1940. Forty kilometres southeast of Whangārei.
The ship’s bridge rang to the sound of pounding feet. Half of the wheelhouse was blown away. No.2 hold had filled with water. The steering wouldn’t answer. Captain Bill Martin ordered watertight doors closed, but knew they might not hold for long. He telephoned the engine room. “Stop engines!”
In this week’s Spinoff Essay, Talisker Scott Hunter recounts the story of the RMS Niagara. Dubbed “The Titanic of the Pacific” it was sunk by a Nazi sea mine in the Hauraki Gulf and continues to capture our imaginations, even as an ecological disaster looms.
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Human rights and hummus: The fight over Obela in New Zealand is just getting started
Hundreds of protesters are pawing “like zombies” at supermarket windows in Christchurch. Managers peep from behind walls of security guards. Police are visiting the homes of protesters bearing trespass notices. Mountains of letters from Nelson and beyond are arriving at the Foodstuffs head office in Māngere. Around the country, unauthorised stickers are appearing in supermarkets. Home printers are whizzing through ink to keep up with demand. Frazzled security guards are ranting about property damage. Cleaners are scraping stickers off supermarket signage. At the centre of it all – hummus.
I report on the escalating national movement trying to get Obela products off supermarket shelves, and the giant corporation that so far has not budged.
What is going on with Taika Waititi’s Instagram?
When Taika Waititi appeared on Instagram in medical scrubs, smiling meekly from inside an enormous full body MRI scanner, Alex Casey thought he was announcing news of a terrible illness to his audience of three million. As she pried her eyes open, it became clear that this was not a heartfelt health update, but an advertisement for a full “preventative” body scan service with a bougie private American health company called Prenuvo.
Waititi is rich. Really rich. So why is he accepting sponsorship deals with inaccessible and scientifically contested health technology companies?
The stories Spinoff readers spent the most time with this week
Claire Mabey’s cover story, The half-a-million-dollar decision that still haunts the book industry, which we spoke about on Behind the Story, takes out the top spot this week
When Matthew Hooton delivered a torrential monologue railing against his former colleague, Don Brash on The Working Group politics podcast, our founder Duncan Greive’s ears perked up
The story of how a $1.50 coffee became a priceless lesson in ethical journalism for our newest staff writer Lyric Waiwiri-Smith
Claiming she sold her car to pay the bill is just one example of Tory Whanau’s terrible political radar, says Wellington editor Joel MacManus in his weekly column, Windbag
As above, my explainer on the fight over Obela in New Zealand, which is just getting started
Recommended reads for your weekend
On Monday, the eight-week media circus of the Philip Polkinghorne trial ended. Lyric Waiwiri-Smith was there to watch the media scrum.
Chris Luxon is usually accompanied by one ally at press stand-ups – a man who stands directly behind him looking absolutely ropeable. This man has resigned, opening up a huge opportunity soon to appear on Seek, writes Hayden Donnell.
In an excerpt from his new book, Paddy Gower reminisces hearing John Key bitching him out during the ad break of a Newstalk ZB interview in 2011.
Sally Rooney’s fourth novel, Intermezzo, was released on Monday at midnight. Rebecca K Reilly inspects its character and story, wondering if the author's life is too small for her writing to ring true.
Punk rock band Zed have shared their perfect weekend playlist, featuring a lot of french horn.
Listeners to RNZ podcasts have noticed gambling ads appearing. The broadcaster is strictly non-commercial, so why is this happening? Shanti Mathias investigates.
One of our longest-serving and oldest active politicians, Winston Peters, believes the decorum and class of parliament is in a state of decay. Liam Rātana unravels this myth with a look to the past.
Hera Lindsay Bird has a PSA: If you’re trying to get away with murder, don’t Google ‘how to get rid of a body’.
They’re warm, salty, oozing with gravy and cheese, but where are the best pies? If you’re in Wellington, Preyanka Gothanayagi has a guide for you.
Reader feedback of the week
“My partner and I use about one recharge per week, for our whipped cream dispenser (and save and drop the empties at a metal recycler). As a precaution (against the muddled policies of the current coalition of clowns and hypocrites), we have now stockpiled 2 years worth (not an ideal solution). When we eventually wish to purchase more, I'm assuming we will get vetted as potential criminals.”
— BraunP
“The only person I want to see play Heathcliff is 1985 Daniel Day Lewis. That would be incredible.”
— krystal
Thanks for reading. Madeleine will be back next week!
— Gabi Lardies
Lots of good content as usual - but kudos for the Pizza Hut non-promotion 👍🏾👏🏾😁 They don't need FREE publicity, so I hope you ate enough (were there doggy bags for for co-workers?) to negate some of the value the other outlets gave them 😜