Why is every bikini a thong now?
A desperate please for a modest tog.
Kia ora and welcome to The Weekend brought to you by Coffee Supreme. If you had time off over the last few weeks, I hope it was lovely. I managed to swim in a LOT of beautiful rivers, which felt like a fulfilment of the article I wrote about swimming and water pollution before Christmas. I’m now back in knowing-what-day-of-the-week-it-is land and excited about what is ahead for the year. This week, we consider why we love some birds and hate others, tips for living in a boat and advice for Wellington Phoenix bandwagon fans.
-Shanti Mathias, staff writer
[Eds note: Apologies to you, reader, and Shanti for forgetting to send this on Saturday. Not everyone is back in knowing-what-day-of-the-week-it-is land.]
Why is every bikini bottom a thong now?
Some people returned from their summer break feeling looser and more at one with nature. Gabi Lardies returned absolutely fuming at the lack of tog options for those who don’t want to be “cheeky”.
“Bums are joyous and happy things – they’re bouncy, soft and round, all the things we like about baby cheeks but bigger. I think they are cute to see on the beach, but I’m not sure baring my own would bring me such joy,” writes Lardies, in her plea for a wedgie-less pair of bikini bottoms. Keep an eye on the The Spinoff tomorrow for part two in our prude fashion series: Alex Casey rages against backless dresses.
Does te reo Pākehā really need to be an official language of New Zealand?
Te Reo Pākehā is not an official language of New Zealand. But if advocates like Winston Peters keep asking, one day it might be. Former race relations commissioner Joris de Bres imagines what making English an official language would require. “The role of an English Language Commission would be similar to Te Taura Whiri: to take steps to give effect to the status of English as an official language, and to promote English as a living language and an ordinary means of communication. This might include, for example, an annual English Language Week, an English Language Moment and English Language Awards. The commission would also certify translators and interpreters of English into te reo Māori.”
Explaining te huia aa motu, the national unity hui that happened yesterday. We’ll have reporting from the event on the site later today.
The leaked Treaty bill from Act will change the tone of the national hui, Rātana and Waitangi, says Te Pāti Māori co-leader Debbie Ngarewa-Packer
Golriz Ghahraman and the exodus of brown women from Parliament
Former Green MP Golriz Ghahraman resigned this week after being accused of shoplifting (she has now been charged). Stewart Sowman-Lund has reported on Ghahraman’s statement and the Green co-leaders response. Ghahraman’s ugly exit can also be seen as part of a bigger trend where brown women including Kiri Allan, Meka Whaitiri and Elizabeth Kerekere have left politics under a cloud. “In the past decade, we’ve seen an influx of “progress” – a whole lot of diverse backgrounds in parliament that we’ve proudly trumpeted as a nation. But despite the change in personnel, which has come about through more concentrated efforts within parties, the requirements for success in parliament haven’t changed,” writes Mad Chapman in an opinion piece. “Politics is best suited to those who separate the intellectual from the personal and ironically don’t separate their lives from their jobs.”
A profile of Celia Wade-Brown, the former Wellington mayor replacing Golriz Ghahraman in parliament
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Does living on a boat solve most of life’s problems?
“For whatever reason, everyone I know is dreaming about quirky living situations. There’s the tiny house (crocheted blankets, silverbeet patch), the camper van (basil plant on the dashboard), the eco-commune (now financially viable thanks to Kiwibank’s co-ownership scheme), the converted barn (owl-less) and the digital nomad (tap tap tap from your bunk bed in Bali).” Eleanor Cooper considered these options, then chose to live in a boat. It’s cramped and expensive — but with each day that passes she loves the sea more.
A ranking of Wellington’s beaches and a rejoinder
It’s time to jump on the Phoenix bandwagon
The Wellington Phoenix football teams are doing amazingly well in the football A-League at the moment. If you’re just tuning in now, Joe Harper has what you need to know. “As we near the halfway point of the season, it feels like the perfect time to jump on the bandwagon – even if you’ve never watched a Nix game in your life. The Phoenix are at top of the table and in scintillating form. Next season, an American billionaire is set to place his thumb on the scales of domestic football fandom in Aotearoa with a new Auckland-based team and the Phoenix-as-plucky-underdogs narrative is only going to get pluckier.”
Remembering how much better those stupid fun celebrity cricket matches were in the ‘90s.
The Spinoff and SparkLab proudly present: Business is Boring Live
Setting the right sustainability strategy for your business
Join host Simon Pound for a discussion with Spark Sustainability Director Leela Gantman and CEO of the Sustainable Business Network, Rachel Brown.
We'll be discussing the steps that businesses of different sizes can take to use technology and tools to track, mitigate and reduce their climate impact.
If you would like to join us, please RSVP: commercial@thespinoff.co.nz by the 26th January.
Everything else?
What are the similarities between Kieran Read and Jack Reacher?
Can Google really effectively diagnose skin problems?
What is the world’s best sandwich?
How did Cape Verde become the fourth African country to eliminate malaria?
Are you thinking about doing Dry January? Here’s some advice.
How do you get to sleep when it’s muggy?
Is this the beginning of New Zealand’s craft chocolate boom?
How did the straightforward idea of more sustainable cities become conspiracy fodder?
Women working at Samsung factories simultaneously train as nail technicians. Why?
Why do wealthy people shoplift?
When will Meola Road be open again?
What happened in New Zealand over the holidays? What happened overseas?
What can traditional Asian architecture tell us about building cool (in both senses of the world) housing?
Thousands of tonnes of discarded clothing are being burnt in Chile’s deserts. Who is responsible?
